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Renegade Necrophile Princess

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Woohoo!! [Jul. 7th, 2009|10:19 am]
[Current Mood | anxious]

HEY MINNESOTA!!!! I'M COMING HOME!!!!!



That's right! August 21st to September 3rd, I'll be in town. That means I want to hang out with people. Do you want to hang out with me? Please tell me you do!

Comment here if you wish to make plans with me, so I don't kill myself with bordom while I am there. Remember, I may not be in town again for 3 years or more... :o
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Go, Pipkin! [Jun. 29th, 2009|07:39 am]
[Current Mood | blah]

It's that magical day. You know, the one that feels all 'personal' to someone, and they desperately hope it will be better than all of the others.

I find I've become jaded, over the years.

I was much more excited on Saturday. That.. was the big day of the Masquerade. I spent 50 dollars on my hair, and an hour and a half getting dressed.. but the results were always pleasing. I get such a thrill when I walk into a room, and people look at me and say "Wow". It's like I managed to bump my App rating a dot or two just because I put in a little extra effort.

I danced, a little. My Heterosexual Life-Mate danced much more than me (Fucking harlots). I mostly spent the night desperately trying to catch up with people I haven't seen for a year. It made me really sad to realize just how much I've lost touch with my social group because of my work schedule.

The mantra of the season seems to be: "Oh, well, I won't have that problem, come September."

Oddly enough? It's a really soothing thought.

Also, Happy Birthday, [info]namelessfodder!!!
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A video entry. SFW. [Jun. 17th, 2009|01:29 pm]
[Current Mood | calm]

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Huh? [May. 30th, 2009|08:17 am]
[Current Mood | calm]

I assure you all, I am not dead.

Men confuse the hell out of me. I've found over time, that even though I am not the most.. attractive person in the world (Okay, I'm pretty damn hot when I try..), I have various men infatuated with me without me doing much of anything to provoke them.

Since I've been working at a pub, it's gotten worse. There is a.. number of regular customers whom I've had my co-workers describe as 'in love' with me. Why? I haven't the faintest. I don't wear makeup half the time. I don't do my hair. Hell, I hardly even dress to please the eye.. yet somehow, because I can put back a pint or two in a sitting, and have a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush.. I have this small pack of grown men drooling at the sight of me.

Now, it's spread to co-workers. (Or at least.. 15 year old dishwashers. The thought makes me cringe and giggle at the same time)

It makes me wonder what I could do to people if I actually -wanted- that sort of attention.

In other news, I'll be 28 in a month. That fuckin' scares the hell out of me. I keep wondering how I got so old.. and then keep reminding myself that I'm not really old, yet. Then I keep wondering how long I'm gonna keep looking young.. and start counting down the days until my ass sags, my face wrinkles, and I gain 300 lbs. I've already started getting grey hair. D:

Regardless.. I'm celebrating this year by getting my nipples pierced. Yep. Both of them. It's gonna be grand.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Nazis on tv,
Talking about Jew Problems,
Saturday Morning.

Link13 comments|Leave a comment

Me, and my split personalities. [Apr. 23rd, 2009|07:40 am]
[Current Mood | awake]

I've stopped drinking coffee. I realized that the dependency I had on caffeine as a drug was a drag. Withdrawal kept me from waking up easily in the morning, and without it, I was an unruly, angry bitch. This is the most successful I've been at the attempt, than in the past. I find myself.. not really craving the tasty warm drink, but rather the warmness I get from it. I am cold and sad in my chair after waking up at 6am (naturally. O_O) and I don't want to make tea because I know I'll just be putting drugs in me.

Last night I went to an APICS meeting with my Heterosexual Life Mate. I was rightfully angry at the idea that his one evening home after not seeing him for so long was gobbled up by responsibilities beyond my hungering vagina, so I tagged along. Deciding to venture out into the business world displayed to me what I would be getting into come the future: Overwhelming boredom.

I suppose I'll be less bored once I understand half of what these Operations Management nerds are talking about, but regardless I came to a startling conclusion about my new chosen path in life:

I'm not appropriate. My active mental state is Not Safe For Work. The filters I must apply to my mind and mouth are astonishing to the point where I don't even really consider myself to be in the room half the time, but instead, locked up in a tiny part of my brain as I spew out words like some kind of politically correct robot.

I wonder if there will come a time where I filter myself so much that I lose touch with my sense of humor. I'm hoping not. But then again, the internet will always be my outlet, so long as I am cautious enough to know how to hide my fiery text.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

I tenderly touch,
What I can't rightly afford,
Strippers don't like that.

Link14 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Apr. 6th, 2009|07:57 am]
[Current Mood | bouncy]

HAPPY APRIL 6TH DAY YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!! :D :D



To all of you who don't know what this is.. carry on.
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I spoke too soon... [Mar. 23rd, 2009|12:59 pm]
[Current Mood | crappy]

After almost two years of employment, I'm having my first sick day. This is downright strange.

Knives + Fevers = bad combination.
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Dude, what the hell?! (perhaps TMI. This is your only warning.) [Mar. 22nd, 2009|11:25 pm]
[Current Mood | sore]

I haven't really gotten.. sick, for some time. People I know run around with various viruses.. coughing, sneezing, puking, and doing all sorts of things which in turn gets everyone else around them sick, but thus far I've been.. immune. (Here's where I knock on wood)

Beginning to believe I am impervious to virii, I go about my day merrily as people sniffle and groan.. knowing that when I get a sore throat, chances are it'll be gone by the next day and I'll be drinking in celebration of my victory.

But then something like -this- happens. My body decides that it shall scoff in the face of -normal- diseases.. easily bypassing the common cold, flu, and other things floating in the air around me.. in favor of things far more.. vile.

Bacteria is the bane of my exsistence. When I get sick, I get SICK. I cough up things I'd rather not describe. Things itch that -shouldn't-, and my wallet suffers because I inevitably have to medicate because some things, I just can't handle on my own.

I'd never pissed blood before this, and I am willing to eagerly describe the situation as.. downright unpleasant.

My insides are swollen. It hurts to move. My back is sore. Foul smelling things are coming out of me.. and all these things, while utterly unpleasant (let alone uncomfortable) lead me to believe that my kidneys have decided to wage war upon my body. Which is something downright TERRIFYING.

Pain killers are my friends until tomorrow morning, at which time a nice little Japanese man will give me magic pills that I must choke down to wage biological warfare upon the organisms invading my system. Normally I do not look forward to the offer of antibiotics.. but in this case, I believe any sort of relief is welcome.

Even if I have to choke down yogurt for a month.

Surprisingly, I still haven't missed a day of work. Holy fuck am I a trooper.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

My thoughts are fleeting,
They return to old places,
That once brought comfort.

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Only in dreams. [Feb. 23rd, 2009|07:53 am]
[Current Mood | busy]

I had a dream last night that I wasn't accepted into BCIT. It didn't really bother me in the land of dreams, but when I woke up, I realized how crushing something like that would be to me.

I've put all my energy and motivation into preparing to go to college, that I haven't yet considered what I might do if I don't get in for the fall semester. I'm set on quitting my job in August. I've been working massive amounts of overtime just to fund my unemployment for 2 years starting in September. My mental health and happiness has begun to focus on the relief of actually having a 9-5, Mon-Fri schedule.

I'd be crushed if I don't get in. Absolutely.

I guess this means I should start preparing for the worst-case scenario.. you know, just in case. Until I get that letter of acceptance into hand, anyway. (Not that I'm honestly all that worried.. but it has been a little unsettling that I haven't gotten it, yet.)

In other news, it's been a month, at least, since I've shaved my arms. It's a strange sensation to have hair on a part of my body. I don't think I like it.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Time is running short,
I must make Haiku quickly,
My bus will not wait.

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Wine, wine, wine! [Feb. 18th, 2009|09:47 am]
[Current Mood | drunk]

You never really know how much you drink until you look back at all the damage it's done to your liquor reserves.

I sorted out my 'cellar', today. After having over 60 bottles of wine in my house (Vieux Chateau du Roi and Vidal Icewine) I managed, finally, to hide 10 bottles of each away to age safely. This left myself and my Heterosexual Life-Mate 3 bottles of each to consume. Careful calculation suggests that I have 13 bottles of each left.. from an original 30.

Where did they all go?!

Now, before I consider myself a raging alcoholic (Really, there's no room to be an alcoholic when I'm already a raging coke head) I do have to realize that I am incapable of being entirely selfish, and I HAVE given a lot of this shit away. (My friends, you are lucky people) But..I know for damn sure I didn't give away 17 bottles of each. My liver suggests I hardly gave away more than 10 of each kind.

So if we say I've consumed over 7 bottles of (My own, not counting other wines L has been pushing on me), that's still quite a bit of liquor consumed over the past month and a half. A bottle of wine can last me 2 to 3 days if I only stick to 2 glasses a day.


Me, a Lush.


Whoa.

Oh yeah.. did I mention I have 5 more kits (at 30 bottles each) on the go? My poor, poor liver..

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Can't shake this feeling,
Skin is crawling at night time,
Scared of my shadow.

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Stolen from Marzi. [Feb. 12th, 2009|02:20 pm]
[Current Mood | amused]

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want -- good or bad -- BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.
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I won't bother asking anyone to do this as well. [Jan. 15th, 2009|01:28 pm]
Ask me a question about any or each of the following:

1. Friends
2. Sex
3. Music
4. Drugs
5. Love
6. LiveJournal
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Unrestful. [Jan. 9th, 2009|02:30 pm]
[Current Mood | frustrated]

So I bottled my wine, last night. -My- wine. Not something I was making for anyone but myself. It was nice. I made my own little labels and everything, which are sickeningly sentimental, but likely just funny to anyone who doesn't understand them.

I also got way too drunk.

My long awaited 3 day weekend is over, and I feel not a bit as rested as I should. Possibly because I didn't take any time to sit back and relax. Whoops. Oh well, back into the work week head-first, for me. Maybe I'll get lucky and catch the aids so I can finally have a day for myself. Of course, that would require more unprotected sex with hookers on my part. Oh darn.

I'm glad the holidays are over. I've been getting tired of everyone around me whining about how terrible everything is. For a season that's supposed to be filled with loving thy family/neighbor/brother/sister/friend, people sure do get bugs up their asses. It's like everyone is so resentful of all the things they feel like they're forced into doing, that they forget to be happy when they're actually -supposed- to be. We'll see what the new year brings. If it's anything like last, mine will be spectacular; save that everyone around me will be writhing in agony.

Maybe I should consider myself blessed.. but I just keep thinking about how I would trade my good luck in life to everyone around me just to see someone smile, again. It's depressing being the only person you know who's not depressed. Whoops. Oxymoron.

I've been looking for something to distract myself with, lately. Haven't really found anything. Watching Deadwood, again, as there's so much it appears that I missed. It's like reading a good book over again. Maybe I'll set aside some more time to get more involved with it, until I find a good video game to play. Mm. That would be nice.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

An occupied mind,
Distracted so easily,
Doesn't feel as much.

Link10 comments|Leave a comment

Kick me while I'm down. [Dec. 23rd, 2008|09:14 am]
[Current Mood | aggravated]

I find it rather annoying that the skills I will be learning in 8 short months are not accessible to me, now. I find it even more annoying when I'm faced with work-place issues that require me to have said training.

I was struck dumb last night at work by a tiny Filipino lady. (I think I'm spelling it right in the right context..) I don't know what it is with some people, and their need to absolutely spaz over situations, but it leaves me lacking in knowledge on how to react when someone is acting, to me, like I'm their child who hasn't cleaned their bedroom.

The Appy station wasn't wiped down. It wasn't perfectly stocked. I understand this, but communicating it to me in manners which are polite, softly spoken, and not personally insulting generally allow someone to get a more clear message through.

Instead, I have a woman who is, for all intensive purposes, a dish washer.. berating me for not working 'hard enough' when I busted my ass all day to compensate for an untrained employee. Yapping like a dog in a barrage of squealing insults that sound like they'd been mulled over for hours. Completely out of the blue.

About the time she called me (paraphrased) a lazy ass, was the time I turned around and walked away from her. I knew my stunned reaction would wear off eventually, and I'd get upset. I don't need to get upset like that. It's not professional.

I called the man-thing afterwards, and he told me what I did was wrong, as well... but given the training and choices in front of me, it was the best reaction I could have had.

Regardless, I know I'll hear about it, tonight. It makes my stomach turn.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

It has been too long,
Haiku has been forgotten.
Rusty, I have grown.

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This one's for all you boys... [Dec. 10th, 2008|01:46 pm]
[Current Mood | geeky]

Do you cook? If so, what's your favorite, most interesting kitchen gadget that you use? Is it something you can impress the ladies with? If you don't have such a gadget.. is there something you're dying to have because it's nifty or cool?

Please, let me know. I need your help! I have to write an article, you see.. and I desperately need ideas!
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Hah! John C Reilly can really belt it out! O_O [Dec. 4th, 2008|09:02 am]
See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die
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(no subject) [Nov. 6th, 2008|08:33 pm]
[Current Mood | amused]

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Wish me luck... (Math final) [Nov. 5th, 2008|03:33 pm]
[Current Mood | anxious]

I -need- it!
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Remember, remember.. [Nov. 1st, 2008|03:39 pm]
[Current Mood | guilty]

It's November already.

Gosh, how this year has flown past. I turn around and look back, and all I can really see is last January, thinking to myself the very same thing about last year.

What is it about growing up that makes time slip through our fingers so fast? Will I look back one day, and consider my mid-twenties as a time where things moved so slowly?

We spend our childhoods waiting. Impatient little creatures who wish so badly that we could hurry up and reach adulthood so the shackles of our youth could be shed, and we can finally enter the big wide world where people can't tell us what to do, anymore.

Once we realize how cold it is, unsheltered from our youth.. many of us remember and consider such time of waiting to have been wasted. Tainted by our new experiences; we wish we could have savored our youth a little better, or perhaps made something of it, if we'd savored too much.

If we didn't age. If we didn't expire. Would we be inspired to rush ourselves head-on into life; soaking up all the experiences and education that we can? Or.. would we consider time to be something of an afterthought, or something that must be endured as we wait for the next level to load in our video games?

I spend nearly every waking moment mindful of the ticking of a clock. Checking where I am on the time line, and scheduling every moment of every hour of every day. Time consumes my thoughts and makes me nervous. I'm so terrified of wasting what's left of my youth. It's like I'm planning to die before I really do, and I'm scared I'll never get to finish what I need to before my time is up.

Will I look back one day; pleased with how I pushed myself, in my fear? Or will I continue to be so scared of looking back, that I just won't bother anymore?

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Things that have been said,
Weakened in my nervous mind,
My fear of nothing.

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Pathfinder's totem Deck [Oct. 23rd, 2008|02:48 pm]
So. I still have a whack of em.

... who wants to buy one?!
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(no subject) [Oct. 22nd, 2008|09:58 am]
[Current Mood | cheerful]

You are about 20 years old
The teen repellent will no longer foil you, but you can still hear some pretty high tones.

The highest pitched ultrasonic mosquito ringtone that I can hear is 16.7kHz
Find out which ultrasonic ringtones you can hear!


This was a really cool meme. I don't find many of those, anymore.

So. I took my friend Doctor Hottness' advice last night, and got a little drunk. A, at work (The bartender) did my cause great service by practically forcing drinks on me, to the point where I was thoroughly giggly and dizzy on my way home. Luck has it I didn't need to walk home alone, but had my lovely Martial Artist co-worker E attend the bus with me, as he was going the very same way as I! (He was also my drinking partner in crime.) Thusly, I wasn't raped and murdered, and I had my own personal body guard. We may or may not have raped and murdered a few people of our own, however.

I was woken up at 9:30 am by my telephone ringing. I was horrified when I considered that it may be my boss attempting to call me in (as M has been sick), but it was one of those phone calls where you pick up, and no one answers. I kinda considered that rude, being that I am pretty hungover. No one has attempted to call me in yet, though. Lets keep our fingers crossed.

I canceled my WoW account, today. They had a little box where they wanted me to type up my reasoning for quitting. It really made me sad to realize that I started the game twice over, and quit for the very same reason;

I just don't want to play catch-up, anymore.

I work a lot more than a lot of my 'guildies'. They have jobs but no lives, or something.. and so always have the time to power level when I don't. When school started, I hadn't the heart to touch my WoW account. I don't think I really played at all. When I did log on.. it was a week into school, and I realized if I was about to play, I would need to spend the 3 hours I had before going to work.. grinding my virtual nose to the XP stone. It wouldn't be fun. I'd have to find people to level with, or go to an instance, ect...

I realized.. I was about to make myself go to work. -IN A GAME-.

So.. I didn't bother.

I'll sit on my hands in anticipation of Diablo 3 in the meantime. I'll get what I need from WoW, but won't have to depend on other people for my game enjoyment.

Please god, let it be soon. I've watched the game-play examples, and I can hardly keep my loins from quivering in pleasure (not that I really want to.. sitting on my hands, and all..)

Of course.. I watched game-play examples of Starcraft 2 no less than 2 years ago. If this trend keeps up, Diablo 3 won't be out in time for the impending alien invasion of 2012. Hopefully I can stave off anal probing long enough to smite me some demons with a wall of zombies.

Halloween is coming! What's -YOUR- costume?!
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Hum. [Sep. 24th, 2008|05:55 pm]
[Current Mood | calm]

Today was a very nice, lazy day. I spent more time lounging upon my couch in a half-coma state with my beloved Pullo-bear than was needed, perhaps.. but my body felt that it was something that I should do. Thusly, I partook.

With the time that has been consumed by things of great importance.. so too, has my ability to compose meaningful text.. declined. I cannot fathom the proper slope difference between my creativity and my business, but I'm sure the graph would display it to be of a negative sort in a steep decline.

Already, Algebra has tainted my thoughts.

I feel.. envious of those people whom, when deprived of their creative outlets.. feel taxed and over-burdened. I wish that my Muse was an unending creature who plagued my every waking thought.. so that perhaps I could create something meaningful, and have the inspiration -whenever- I find a few moments to myself with which I can express.

I very much miss creating art. I'm terrified that I'll end up being one of those people who are wildly artistic, but content to never express it. Someone kill me, if I get to that point.

My mother called me on Saturday. I was having a much-needed nap.. which is usually when she attempts to catch up on lost time with her only Daughter.

My cousin Jessica (whom I was very close to as a child, but somehow grew apart from) had just gotten married, and my mother was at the wedding reception. When she handed the phone off to my Grandfather.. I realized I had nothing to say, to him.

He, likewise, had nothing to say back to me.. other than hello, and how much he missed me. His voice was lethargic. He sounded confused, and lacking in enthusiasm which brought me to believe that he'd rather be sitting at home having a nap, just like I was.

I've watched five of my Grandparents die, already. This is the last one left, and a part of me already considers him to be dead, in a way. Whatever relationship I had with him is stored in fond memories of my childhood. There is, simply, no ability to keep a relationship going with him.. for any attempts that I have made are reacted to as though he simply doesn't have the mind to comprehend the meaning of my affection.

I do not look down on him, for it. I know his age has taxed his mind, and I will never love my Grandfather less. I think he just deserves his quiet relaxation before he slips away to be with his wife, again.

Regardless, it makes me sad. It's awkward talking to a person when I know they're just waiting to die.. and clinging to the last remains of their life with little to no enthusiasm.

Summer's gone. The leaves have changed, and the sky has begun to weep nearly every day, now. I find the yearly change from summer garb to bulky, winter clothing to be almost elating. I miss the rosy glow of my fireplace, and the comforting snuggle pile of blankets and cats as I lie in front of it.

This winter.. I'm prepared. I have things to occupy my mind and time, and the comforting knowledge that I managed to steam-roll my way through summer without finding myself in the usual state of near manic-depressive.

It's nice to be healthy again. Maybe I've finally figured out what I need to stay that way.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

The sun doesn't shine,
But that's okay with me, now,
Rain feels good on skin.

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Pardon me.. [Sep. 21st, 2008|07:55 am]
[Current Mood | lethargic]

Excuse me, body.

When I need to rest before waking up very early in the morning, please don't take two hours to fall asleep. It's also not very nice to have consistent nightmares that wake me up every 2 hours, thusly keeping me from returning to a blissful, restful state.

Excuse me, cats.

When I had a shitty night of sleep last night, and I come home late from work, knowing I have to be awake in 6 1/2 hours to return to work, please don't spend an HOUR scratching around in the cat box, the bath tub, the cat dish, the stairs, and anything else you can find to make noise. It's not condusive to sleep.

I have a midterm to study for. I'd like to be able to pass, please.

kthxbai.
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Thunder in the morning. [Aug. 17th, 2008|07:46 am]
[Current Mood | accomplished]
[Current Music |thunder]

So. Somewhere along the line, I became a responsible adult. I don't really know where, or when, but I believe it's happened in some capacity. It's not that I'm buying a car, or pooping out crotch-droppings.. so much as the fact that I'm learning to juggle things like a job, schooling, dance lessons and general -life- as opposed to going out drinking all night, or smoking crack.

Today is an interesting turning point: My chef is on vacation. The kitchen is, to be blunt, mine. I have keys to open. Permission to create special menus. Keys to the office, fridges, and anything else I might need to get into. My pay rate is going up (though I'm not being given a title or being put on salary..) and it's starting to give me a weird little creepy feeling, knowing that some people actually notice that I'm capable of doing more than general grunt-work.

To be honest, it took long enough.

I'm weary of the fact that my weekends won't be open, or that I won't be getting any more day shifts than normal, so I can associate with my friends.. but it's something I'm just going to have to get used to, for now. Come September, I'll barely have time to wipe my ass, let alone go to birthday parties.. but I have confidence that my friends will be loving, and understand. I'm making life changes so that I -can- spend time with them, and have the time and ability to not feel -guilty- about it.

It's getting loud, outside, and I'd better get to work.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Eerily growling,
A hungry beast from the sky,
We tremble in fear.

Link4 comments|Leave a comment

very good times with very bad things... [Jul. 7th, 2008|11:36 am]
[Current Mood | ecstatic]

... Actually, I've done nothing particularly bad as of the late.. unless you count the hooker stuffed into the storage space on my roof, but I assure you, she's being fed and kept reasonably comfortable.

I've been on vacation. I've had strange people from a strange land staying in my home, and somehow, I haven't managed to murder them, yet. I guess what they say about the internet isn't completely true. Or maybe just what they say about me?

In any case, I started out my lovely vacation this week, by going to work. I got the call bright and early at 8:30am as I was playing WoW. "Pipkin..." she said; "What are you doing, today?"

I knew right then and there, things.. are going downhill. It's okay, though, I needed the money. Right? Right.

Well, I might have had more to write about, but at the moment my mind is rather blank, so I am gonna give this computer back to the person it belongs to, and go about making breakfast.

You'll all hear from me, later.
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Ugh. [Jun. 29th, 2008|08:01 am]
[Current Mood | awake]
[Current Music |fucking birds...]

Nothing like being woken up after 6 hours by the serenading of a murder of crows out the window.

Two hours later? They're still going.

I wish I had a sling-shot, right about now.

Also.. Happy Birthday, [info]namelessfodder!!!!!! (this means it's my birthday, too.)
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Writer's Block: The Eternal Nocturnal Struggle [Jun. 13th, 2008|08:35 am]
[Tags|, , ]

Vampires or werewolves?


View other answers



I'll answer this from a WoD point of view, because honestly, it would taint my answer, either way:

One on one? The werewolf. Werewolves are creatures of war and battle. Not to mention they're fucking horrifying in full crinos. They can take a lot of damage, and deal out a hell of a lot more. Seriously, it could take a whole -group- of vampires to take down a single werewolf, and even then, the wolf could still end up killing a few of those pesky leeches.

But, as a whole? If the Kindred seriously put enough thought and organization into wiping Gaia's face clean of the wolf race.. Assuming that the other shifters don't step in to the fight.. I think the vampires would win. There's more of them. They have much more influence over the world than the wolves do, and they aren't afraid to use it.

The more they pollute and taint the world, the wolves would have less and less places to live and breed, thusly, never having a place to rest for all the wyrm taint. The vampires would simply sweep in and mop up the mess, I believe.
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In the cards.. (This is a long one, I don't expect you to read it..) [Jun. 8th, 2008|10:26 pm]
[Current Mood | indescribable]

I go to my cards, looking for perspective. For an outside view of something I might have missed, or was ignoring. For encouragement or warning..whichever they choose to give.

Most often, they simply tell me.. what I am thinking about, already. I'm constantly told, by my cards, what I already know.. and as frustrating as I find this, it's somehow comforting as to how well they know me.

An extension of myself, or something silly like that. Unfortunately, in this instance, I don't know if I really.. know myself that well.

( School. )

In the end, I just have to decide which hot air balloon I need to jump onto, and how tightly I can hang on for the ride.

To the lazy Annie, 3 years is a fuck of a long time...
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Money, money, money. [Jun. 4th, 2008|11:16 am]
[Current Mood | depressed]

I'm so poor, right now.

Pointless doctor's appointments have set me back over 150$. I spent as much money to have a podiatrist tell me that he wants to do something to me I don't want him to do (not unlike ass-fuck me with a splintered piece of balsa wood..), as I would have if I am still living in the States.

I need this money. It sits like a rock on my credit card (along with the 500 dollar Cirque du Soleil tickets, and the 150$ Masquerade tickets), mocking me as I attempt, desperately, to pay it off with whiddly pay cheques.

There's a possibility I may be getting money back from insurance.. but that involves paperwork, and god knows how much waiting. I need that money, in a month. I'm certain it may come floating to me some day, when I'm in my mid-40's, sipping martinis behind a dumpster.

I sense great financial debt in the future. All in the name of Vacationing. I really shouldn't be so hard on myself, however.. as most of the money spent, is money I need to spend to -have- the vacation in the first place. But, regardless, I fret over the cost of food and other entertainment.

It's not as though I'll go bankrupt.. I'll just be very poor for a while afterwards. Eyetear.

I keep my chin up, knowing it will be worth it. I just need to observe the value of a dollar, when an hour of my life is only worth 12 (and that's not including what the government takes out of me.)

I'm baking banana bread. Again. The Dish Washer at work asked me to make her some.. because apparently I make the best Banana Bread she's ever had. Being 3 months pregnant as she is, I really can't resist making it for her.. as it's one of my culinary fetishes to make sure a person gets -exactly- what they're craving, foodwise.

She offered to -pay- me for it. It's so funny. Banana bread is cheap. Bananas are cheap. Sugar is cheap. Flour is cheap. About the only thing in it that isn't cheap is the butter. I giggled, and told her not to worry about it.

I just wish I could get myself to be more.. productive, goddamnit. Arrgh.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

I am frustrated,
Many directions ahead,
Hesitant to choose.

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Tuesday night. [Jun. 4th, 2008|01:03 am]
[Current Mood | drunk]

So.. I've been drinking.

I tend to do this a lot, lately. Enough to make me worry about myself, but not enough to consider me an alcoholic (because I generally only have about one drink, a night, as opposed to getting drunk every night.)

I got drunk, tonight.

So, I sit here with my easy-mac, potato chips, and Orangina.. wide awake, and back-spacing terribly after every mistake in text I make, hoping to make this entry readable.

I suffer for my fans and loved ones.

Tonight, my Morale has lowered. I come in to work, today, from a weekend of busting my balls to their capacity, only to find that my newest Sous Chef had nasty shit to say about me. To say that I ain't pulling my weight. That I'm not working hard enough, and that I am slacking.

Generally, I take critique quite seriously. If someone says I am wrong, I observe past behavior with little bias and consider what I could fix. If they have specific beefs about me, I take what they say in high consideration and correct where needed.

In this instance, I observed myself and saw nothing. Explaining this to Chef, he tells me maybe I should 'Work Harder'. How the fuck hard to they expect me to work? Do I need run rampant, never taking breaks (Like I never do anyway, cause I'm not a smoker..) and being superhuman at all times? For as little as I am paid?

Do I work off the clock to ensure that every bit of Prep is done, regardless of how busy it is? Do I forsake personal life to continue working, giving my all for something that observes me as never doing enough?

I don't know.

I consider myself to have an amazing work ethic. I bust my ass. I cover shifts when called. I do everything I can to ensure that the work gets done, within means, and everyone is comfortable. I hardly ever 'slack off' to the capacity of others, and thusly, I am fucking -insulted-.

Chef gave it to me, easy. He said the Sous might still be adjusting, and for his benefit, was drunk when he had shit to say about me. I think he may value me a bit more.. but regardless, I take this sort of slander personally.

Maybe, when I shouldn't.

So.. I'm drunk. It makes me feel better. A bad way to cope, but thankfully, I don't really need to cope, often.

Regardless, the idea of career change grows more and more enticing, at this moment. I work so hard. Harder than many people i know.. and the payoff is... nil. School entices me, again. Enough of this grunt bullshit.

Time for sleep. Haiku later.
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Oh, my. [May. 28th, 2008|02:43 pm]
[Current Mood | busy]
[Current Music |Shivaree - Baby Girls]

My credit card.. how she weeps. Cirque du Soleil, here we come. Should be.. interesting, to say the least.

Aw, fuck it. I'm giddy with excitement.

The first week of July is going to be so utterly awesome.. for how full of events it is getting. Good friends visiting, Masquerade, socializing with some of the people I love most, adventuring on adventures I've never adventured before, and time off.

I can hardly wait. :)
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A word of advice... [May. 27th, 2008|11:53 pm]
[Current Mood | aggravated]

You want to piss off a Culinarian? Insult their soup.

Any asshat can cook if they try, but the one thing that separates us French-knife wielding maniacs in white uniforms with a sense of superiority over food from the average housewife with three crotch droppings hanging off her teats while she cooks macaroni and cheese on an electric stove.. is our ability to make rich, beautiful, velvety sauces, or soups so delicious they make your toes curl with delight as God himself condemns you to hell for daring to partake.

Run-on sentence, I know. Sorry, had to get the detail out of me.

... Anyway.

I made a soup for work. (for those who don't know my various work rants.. for me to be able to make a soup for customer consumption is.. legendary. It hardly happens. Ever since the new Sous Chef has came into being.. I've actually been -asked- to make soup, much to my undying delight..) Minestrone. I didn't dare add meat to it, as I wanted the resident Vegetarian to be able to eat my soup. It had carrots, and beans, and zucchini, and onions, and veg stock, and all sorts of deliciousness in it. Tomato based.

I didn't add spinach or pasta to it, like I wanted to, because every cook worth their buttons understands that to leave pasta in a soup, (or spinach, for that matter) means it will make the soup into crap. The pasta will turn to mush, as will the spinach, and make the soup near.. inedible.. well, to those who have taste, anyway.

I labeled it with instruction to add pasta and spinach to it, later.. leaving my tender baby in the loving arms of my.. competent co-workers.. or, so I thought.

I get to work, today, at 4pm. Usual time. Hoping to partake of my soup, as it's one of my favorites, I open the container on the line.. only.. to discover, to my horror, elbow macaroni the size of my fist, and roughly chopped Penne so large it could consume my head. Mush. Disgusting mush. Huge chunks of brown spinach floated around in what was once a heavenly meal from the gods above, and now.. it was an abomination to all that is culinary. Aghast, I look up and ask A (a lovely waitress..) "Who ruined my soup?!"

"It was G." she says... and then goes off: "I asked M what kind of soup there was, today. She says to me; 'Oh, Pipkin made Minestrone!' To which G butts in, claiming: 'That's no Minestrone. That's not even close. We're going to call it 'tomato vegetable soup with pasta and spinach.'.', and then, he dumps all that pasta and spinach into the pot to put it on line! I was so upset, I wanted to try your soup so bad, and now it's crap."

I was surprised steam did not pour out of my head, for my anger. Who insults my soup like that?! How could he have the nerve to claim my soup was not Minestrone, when.. Minestrone is nothing more than an Italian vegetable soup?! How could he then be so ASININE as to ruin it? DIDN'T he have an impressive resume? DIDN'T he work in a kitchen? DOESN'T he know that a soup with pasta and spinach should have those two -delicate- ingredients added per order?!

HOW DARE HE.

I ended up throwing it all away.. stating on the waste sheet that the soup was.. 'unservable'. I believe my Chef will understand. I weep for the loss of my creation.

I am a culinarian. I am a damn -GOOD- culinarian. My pride cannot take the insult of some over-aged, under-achieving ass-fuck who needs to put down someone with talent to make themselves feel good.

My rage. How she stirs.

---------------------------

In other news; I have a bunion. It's... annoying that my genetics could do something so terrible to me when I've just begun a hobby that insists that my feet be in perfect working order. (I've begun ballroom dancing. It is heavenly.)

Damn you, Murphy.

In a week, I'll know which route to take for treatment.. though options seem fairly slim, and pointing more heavily towards surgery. Surgery, I am not looking forward to, as it requires a lengthy amount of recovery time.. which would, in short, cause me to have to quit my job. :/

I may just have to stick with relieving pain and hoping to find dance shoes that don't make me want to kill myself because I'm dancing. We shall see.

Gnar. time for bed.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Because I miss you,
I can't help but push away,
Crushing loneliness.

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Writer's Block: Clumsiest moment [May. 19th, 2008|06:17 pm]
[Tags|, , ]

I'm with two friends at the Mall of America. I'm 15. I have a Bladder infection, or something.. as I'd been finding that I cannot control my bladder when I laugh, and thusly.. pee.

My friend, in the middle of the Mall.. says something funny, and I burst out laughing, proceeding to urinate all over myself, and the ground in front of me.

Being old enough to be MORTIFIED by this, I run for the bathroom to clean out my underpants and everythng (thankfully I was wearing a skirt) and I end up having to wash my panties in the toilet.

Thank god, my friends never mentioned this moment to me. Either they were clueless, or just really nice.
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>_> [May. 13th, 2008|03:15 pm]
[Current Mood | blank]

Hi, everyone.

No, I'm not dead.
Link17 comments|Leave a comment

Blargh. [Apr. 20th, 2008|07:53 am]
[Current Mood | busy]

I haven't checked LJ in a while. The computer hurts just to look at, as of late.

I could log on to this thing, and within 15 minutes, my eyes would stop focusing properly. The screen would be hard to read, and this, being at the biggest display options I have. Honestly, it's maddening.

After USING the computer, however, that's a while other story. My eyes would fuck up, refusing to focus properly on anything and everything. Further research found this to be true with.. -anything- I attempted to read. Or look at. Everything.

I had to take my first sick day last Monday because my eyes were so tired I couldn't read the chits at work. Days after, even if I didn't use the computer, just walking into the kitchen caused my world to cloud over, causing me massive annoyance. I've burned and cut myself a lot. It's hard to keep focused when you can't see fuck-all.

I called the doctor. His diagnosis? I'm Far-sighted.

For all of you people out there who wear glasses, you'll understand me when I say that this is a perspective-changing experience. Imagine your vision reversing on you, one day. Things you could see up close, and clearly, are suddenly demons to your eyes and fuzzier to you, than the car across the street.

I'm slowly going insane.

Thankfully, the Doctor said this should clear itself up in about a week. That was.. eh.. almost a week ago. Honestly, things were much better yesterday than they have been, all week. Sure, I couldn't see -clearly- while working, last night.. but I didn't seem to be nearly as.. eh.. blind, as I was, the days before.

I'm assuming this is either because my eyes are getting better, finally, or because I haven't had time to be on my computer. I'm still not 100% on if this thing is the culprit, or not (and for those about to ask.. no, me being on the computer isn't -hurting- me. The doctor said I was fine to use it, and I am not upsetting the healing process)

We shall see.

In other news, I've begun dance lessons with my darling Heterosexual life-mate. They're expensive, but I'm anticipating awesomeness. It will be nice to express movement to music and not feel like a total retard while I'm at it. That, and I get to.. Tango.

Booty-shaking is for suckers.

More to come, later, when I can think of more to say.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Not much time for fun,
My white uniform awaits,
Off to work I go.

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AAAGH!! MY EYES!!! [Apr. 6th, 2008|10:42 pm]
[Current Mood | aggravated]

I'm counting down the hours until I can shed the plastic lenses before my eyes and see clearly without the use of facial attachments.

I wait in nervous anticipation for the time when the doctors will shave off parts of the front of my eyeballs in the name of science.

In short, I am getting cosmetic surgery.

My nerves are getting to me, in the form of extreme upset stomach. I feel sick. I want to puke, and I am wide awake and jittery.

Blaahhh..

Wish me luck tomorrow, folks.
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A small problem... [Mar. 31st, 2008|08:16 am]
[Current Mood | calm]
[Current Music |Sinead O`Conor - Nothing Compares to you]

Some of you may know. Others may not...

On April 7th, I am getting my eyes zapped with lasers. As awesome as it sounds, and in actuality; IS, there is a small problem associated with it:

I'm having surgery. This means, that afterwards, I am going to be hopped up on drugs and antibiotics. I will be unpleasant, drooly, and unable to keep my eyes open for very long. (Or want to, I suspect.) I'll also probably be sleeping a lot.

J has school that night. He's supposed to watch me for the day (because, it's surgery), but cannot, while he is at school.

Is anyone willing to come over to my house after work, to watch my television, and poke me with a stick for a few hours until J comes home, again?
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Checklist. [Mar. 29th, 2008|02:59 pm]
[Current Mood | contemplative]
[Current Music |Radiohead: You and who's army?]

A lot of people measure their lives by their experiences. Places they have gone. Things they have done. Accomplishments in work, social environments, body, mind..

People spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on schooling that does nothing for their career, but it furthers their paradigm and their outlook on life in general. They fill their time with activities that expand the richness of their lives.. giving them skills that may be completely useless, but it allows them to grow, as a person.

I surround myself with these kinds of people. For the longest time, I was content to sit on my hands and absorb what I could off of them by listening to their stories, or learning from their examples. I was content to be lazy with idle hands, happy that in my spare time I could play video games or read novels. Pretend to be something epic. Someone interesting.

It's not working, anymore.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

The deeper I push,
The louder you start screaming,
I'm doing it wrong.

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Sweet zombie Jesus! [Mar. 7th, 2008|08:59 am]
[Current Mood | amused]
[Current Music |Weezer - Undone]

It's that time again. You know.. the time that I sit in front of my computer, log onto Live journal, and actually bother to say something to the raging hordes that is my friends list.

I know you've all been bouncing in anticipation of my massive text-peen, but alas, I have been either too lazy to ramble on about stuff no one wants to read about, or I actually have had cool things to say, and I hate you too much to write about it.

Actually, it's a little bit of both. Life is cool and interesting, and I am too lazy to tell you about it. HAH!

I had a bit of unintentional nostalgia thrust upon me, recently. I decided, not too long ago, to dye my hair. Last night, I finally got around to it, actually.. with the help of my good friend D, and her delicious pizza of DOOM. (New Yorkers make the best pizza, I have learned.)

I've been red, for a while. I wanted to go red, again.. but a deeper shade. Something.. bloody.

What I'd intended to be a sassy, sexy color of crimson red that would make me look like some hot call girl, came out of the can a brilliant, elaborate PINK. I'd thought I bought red. The dye LOOKED red. Is it red? Not really.


OOOPS.


I'm expecting my boss to puke a little bit in his mouth when he sees me, tomorrow. (If I can actually -get- to work, tomorrow. I'm kind of scared to go outside.. my hair is so bright I fear airplanes might crash into me.) I'd told him it'd be red. Oops.

In recent news, Spring is coming. I can see the trees swelling out their buds in anticipation of flowering, and soon.. great aerial sex acts will be occurring across the land through the spreading of pollen. I am excited to see the cherry trees blooming once again.. and with my pink hair.. all I'll need to do is don a kimono or a little cat-girl outfit to make the Anime experience a little more real.

How sweet.

I'm gonna go brave the world in search of Tim Hortons and their wonderous breakfast sandwich, now. Thankfully, it's a little too early in the year for moths. I'd hate to see their reaction to my head. I just hope birds don't try to feed my ears. O_O


On second thought, I kinda like it..


Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Patiently I wait,
The clock ticks, my life shortens,
Anticipation.

Link24 comments|Leave a comment

Well, hot damn. [Feb. 13th, 2008|11:52 pm]
[Current Mood | hungry]

Hi. It's me, again. Your friendly neighborhood Pipkin. It's been a while, hasn't it?

Things have happened. Many things. I've lost friends, again, which I find to be alarming, but it's not so bad, considering the fact that they're internet friends I've never met, before.

I've gained stronger friendships with others, in return. People I actually plan on meeting, and at the moment, am having a very difficult time trying not to spend 500 bucks to go visit for the weekend.

Thank god I am so poor, right now.

My Heterosexual life-mate has returned to the force of the working.. which is a very good thing, I believe. For some reason, I've been having weird doubts about my own working situation. I am not confidant, and I worry that I am not what my boss needs. I work hard, of course, but I make mistakes. Ones he calls me on, and the more I try to correct them, the more mistakes I make.

I haven't done anything grievous yet, though.. so I think I am still in the green.

People have gotten sick, at work. Everyone in the kitchen, so far, but me. *knocks on wood* This has resulted in -massive- amounts of overtime on my part, and while I do enjoy a nice paycheck, I've really been suffering because of it. I find it hard to plan a massive, once-in-a-lifetime party when I am working on my days off, doing split shifts which involve me opening and closing, or just randomly coming in to work 3 hours early.

I refuse to work tomorrow. I also refuse to work Saturday. After then, people can be sick all they want, for all I care.

I'm worried about lots of people i know in Minnesota. To the point, where I almost don't want to think about them, anymore. It hurts my soul, a little.. but I have realized that I cannot focus on things that I cannot change, otherwise I will cause myself unneeded stress.

It's a funny thing, letting go. Moving on. I feel like an alien. A different person, now. I still don't know if I like it, or not.

Blah. Sorry for the serious post, everyone. I just need to update on how my life is going, every once in a while.. so I don't forget what is going on.

Peace out.

Pipkin's Valentines Haiku of the Day:

Attention captured,
Can't look away from your eyes,
I am enamored.

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