| A word of advice... |
[May. 27th, 2008|11:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | aggravated | ] | You want to piss off a Culinarian? Insult their soup.
Any asshat can cook if they try, but the one thing that separates us French-knife wielding maniacs in white uniforms with a sense of superiority over food from the average housewife with three crotch droppings hanging off her teats while she cooks macaroni and cheese on an electric stove.. is our ability to make rich, beautiful, velvety sauces, or soups so delicious they make your toes curl with delight as God himself condemns you to hell for daring to partake.
Run-on sentence, I know. Sorry, had to get the detail out of me.
... Anyway.
I made a soup for work. (for those who don't know my various work rants.. for me to be able to make a soup for customer consumption is.. legendary. It hardly happens. Ever since the new Sous Chef has came into being.. I've actually been -asked- to make soup, much to my undying delight..) Minestrone. I didn't dare add meat to it, as I wanted the resident Vegetarian to be able to eat my soup. It had carrots, and beans, and zucchini, and onions, and veg stock, and all sorts of deliciousness in it. Tomato based.
I didn't add spinach or pasta to it, like I wanted to, because every cook worth their buttons understands that to leave pasta in a soup, (or spinach, for that matter) means it will make the soup into crap. The pasta will turn to mush, as will the spinach, and make the soup near.. inedible.. well, to those who have taste, anyway.
I labeled it with instruction to add pasta and spinach to it, later.. leaving my tender baby in the loving arms of my.. competent co-workers.. or, so I thought.
I get to work, today, at 4pm. Usual time. Hoping to partake of my soup, as it's one of my favorites, I open the container on the line.. only.. to discover, to my horror, elbow macaroni the size of my fist, and roughly chopped Penne so large it could consume my head. Mush. Disgusting mush. Huge chunks of brown spinach floated around in what was once a heavenly meal from the gods above, and now.. it was an abomination to all that is culinary. Aghast, I look up and ask A (a lovely waitress..) "Who ruined my soup?!"
"It was G." she says... and then goes off: "I asked M what kind of soup there was, today. She says to me; 'Oh, Pipkin made Minestrone!' To which G butts in, claiming: 'That's no Minestrone. That's not even close. We're going to call it 'tomato vegetable soup with pasta and spinach.'.', and then, he dumps all that pasta and spinach into the pot to put it on line! I was so upset, I wanted to try your soup so bad, and now it's crap."
I was surprised steam did not pour out of my head, for my anger. Who insults my soup like that?! How could he have the nerve to claim my soup was not Minestrone, when.. Minestrone is nothing more than an Italian vegetable soup?! How could he then be so ASININE as to ruin it? DIDN'T he have an impressive resume? DIDN'T he work in a kitchen? DOESN'T he know that a soup with pasta and spinach should have those two -delicate- ingredients added per order?!
HOW DARE HE.
I ended up throwing it all away.. stating on the waste sheet that the soup was.. 'unservable'. I believe my Chef will understand. I weep for the loss of my creation.
I am a culinarian. I am a damn -GOOD- culinarian. My pride cannot take the insult of some over-aged, under-achieving ass-fuck who needs to put down someone with talent to make themselves feel good.
My rage. How she stirs.
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In other news; I have a bunion. It's... annoying that my genetics could do something so terrible to me when I've just begun a hobby that insists that my feet be in perfect working order. (I've begun ballroom dancing. It is heavenly.)
Damn you, Murphy.
In a week, I'll know which route to take for treatment.. though options seem fairly slim, and pointing more heavily towards surgery. Surgery, I am not looking forward to, as it requires a lengthy amount of recovery time.. which would, in short, cause me to have to quit my job. :/
I may just have to stick with relieving pain and hoping to find dance shoes that don't make me want to kill myself because I'm dancing. We shall see.
Gnar. time for bed.
Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:Because I miss you, I can't help but push away, Crushing loneliness. |
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