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Renegade Necrophile Princess

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Lucidity. [Jan. 17th, 2011|06:10 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |awakeawake]

 In that place between consciousness and sleep, I am a very unhappy person.

When I dream, I am a blank slate. I have no identity. I have little memories, save for the ones I make up to suit the situation that I am in. When I wake up, my brain goes through the process of putting back together the person that I really am… Like a computer rebooting. That’s when I remember all of the things in my life that I would rather not think about.
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Meh. [Sep. 12th, 2010|10:49 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |bitchybitchy]

 God, I shouldn't have had that 5-hour-energy shot. :(

So I'm awake. I have to be up at 5:30 tomorrow morning, but instead I am here, wearing my cat across my shoulders, and listening to the dishwasher do it's magical thing. I don't really want to be awake. I don't really want to be asleep, either. 

So.. Live journal, it is.

I haven't updated at all, lately. Possibly because I have nothing to really talk about, besides bitching about my horrible visit back to MN, or the amount of blackberries I picked this summer. That, and World of Warcraft. Basically, bullshit people don't really want to read about anyway, as much as I really don't want to think about it.

School's back in. I feel like an overworked hooker, and I've only been there for three days. I'm wondering how well I'll fair this year. Looks like this semester's gonna be about as fun as being ass-fucked by a hot poker. Already one of my instructors has managed to terrify me with the workload he expects out of us lowly students. Doesn't help that I have the class social loafer on my team.. 

Pipkin might have to unleash the claws, soon.

I don't like being in charge.. but I absolutely love having control. Sometimes I wonder how I put up with this oxymoron, but I've realized it's more that I can't trust anyone to do anything right. If I'm gonna fail, it's going to be because it's my own damn fault. Not because some cuntbag doesn't know how to do proper work. So it looks like I'll be carrying 4 people on my back into an honor roll position.. unless they somehow manage to impress me.

I really would like to be impressed.

I'll stop writing now, before I depress myself, more. Good night, internetland.



Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Too much time thinking,
Nothing meaningful to say,
Haiku mojo lost.

Link5 comments|Leave a comment

PAX! [Sep. 2nd, 2010|02:47 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
 On my way to PAX, bitches!

I'll be wearing the squid hat. Look for me. :D
LinkLeave a comment

And now, it's time to depart... [Jul. 29th, 2010|12:53 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Location |United States, Minnesota, Minneapolis]
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]
[Current Music |The crickets outside.]

 A friend said to me, the other day: "I wish you lived close enough for me to take you for granted.." 

While the lady that was pumping gas across from us gushed distractedly about how cute such a term was, I found myself concerned that she might think that he was hitting on me... and the true meaning of what he meant kind of escaped me in that moment.

Now as I sit awake, realizing that my flight leaves in 10 hours and 16 minutes, I've kind of had time to stew on that meaning and understand what I should have taken out of it.

This past month has kind of been an eye opener. In so many ways that I could write novels about it. I've never felt such emotional chaos in my life as this mixture of happiness, relaxation, anger, despair, stress, relief, and longing. Wrapped up into 30 short days; my moods have been twisting so wildly that I think, perhaps, I know what it is to be Bipolar. Or at least something close.

Nothing makes you feel like a total and complete asshole.. than moving away from your friends and family. I can't count on my fingers the number of times my mother has broken down into tears, sobbing over my inevitable departure... speaking as though I might be dying instead of just going home.

I feel almost.. betrayed in the sense of my friends, concerning the ways they treat me: Like it's a never-ending birthday that I endure; receiving the utmost respect, and reverement; seeing the most impressive fronts, and having them 'making the best of it while you're here'.

It's not that I don't enjoy the attention, mind you; but I guess I kinda feel like I want to live close enough to be taken for granted. I don't want to think people feel obligated to treat me any differently, just because they won't see me, again. I don't like the reminders of those important friendships that I have left behind.

I feel confidant that the majority of them will stand the tests of time; but also.. I hate that disturbing feeling of wanting to pick up the phone and call someone over to watch TV, and then remembering that they don't live a block away from me, because I told Minnesota to get up and go fuck itself.

I don't do well with Farewells and Good Byes. I always get awkward during them, and would rather just get the departure over with, rather than sit and consider how sad I'll be when I miss someone.

On the plus side: I adore my parents, but living here with them for a month has almost been hell. In that way, I really wish I lived close enough to be taken for granted.. because then I wouldn't have to make these long trips out here like this. To sit and listen to my mother cry because she misses me, and wrongly places her concept of happiness, and her sense of well being on my physically being there.

That.. is just something that is impossible to live up to. It makes it easier to leave, however.
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Wooo! [Jul. 1st, 2010|01:38 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Location |United States, Minnesota, Saint Paul]
[Current Mood |energeticenergetic]

I came to the sudden realization that I don't post on this thing anymore. It makes me sad.. but not as much as it makes you guys relieved, I am sure.

Regardless, because I can't have my presence on the internet remain stagnant, I am taking this time to infiltrate my parents' office computer to make words appear on the screen.

RECENT HAPPENINGS IN THE LIFE OF PIPKIN:


  • School finished for the year, and I managed to pull a 81% GPA out of my ass. Honors, yo.
  • I've started playing WoW again, yet still managed to pull that GPA out of my ass. This leaves me to believe I'm either smart or really lucky...
  • I recently turned 29 years old. (Tuesday) and am a little horrified about that fact.
  • I flew to MN on my birthday and was asked by a US border guard how much money I've spent in Canada, and got yelled at because I couldn't recall my spending habits over the past 6 years I have lived there.
  • Alcohol is super cheap in the U.S.
  • Yesterday while on the highway out to Valley Fair, my brother's sexy yellow Mustang was pelted with dried corn from a semi-truck. It was amusing.
  • I did some crazy shit at Valley Fair. Like get pulled up several stories into the air by metal cables and dropped. It was.. awesome.

More updates to come, maybe...
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(no subject) [May. 20th, 2010|03:24 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]

It must be written, for it is GENIUS.

I was making pancakes for lunch, today, at 3pm. It was a desperate attempt on my part to remain awake while I was studying for my Project Management final tomorrow. (Which.. if I continue to procrastinate any further, I will fail like I bombed BSYS on Tuesday, but I digress..)



My mind was wandering, as it tends to do.. considering the intricacies of the food I was about to consume, and the recipe needed to prepare it. The name, I've always considered to be an odd one. Pancakes. Cakes? They look nothing like cakes. Well. Maybe they'd be more like cakes in a stack. Maybe if they had a chocolatey, more actual cake-like batter...

And then, it became all too clear.

What if I did have a cake batter? What if I did cook it in a pan? Wouldn't I then have the means to make an absolutely awesome layered cake? Each individually cooked 'pancake', cut down to size, and stacked atop another with a thin layer of icing in between?

Oh. Oh yes.

And so I write it down.. because I cannot rely upon my memory anymore. Hopefully, I'll remember to come back and read this, later.
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Sometimes, I write. [Apr. 12th, 2010|07:42 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |blankblank]

NSFW, contains violence, sexual content, naughty language, vampires, and role-playing terms. You should read it, anyway.Collapse )

Cool story, sis.
Link3 comments|Leave a comment

Writer's Block: What is your life sentence? [Mar. 5th, 2010|12:28 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Tags|]

How would you describe your life so far in a six-word sentence? How often would your 'life sentence' change?



I'm nowhere near the end.

That is all.
Link2 comments|Leave a comment

Things coming together, and others, falling apart. [Feb. 25th, 2010|10:57 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |predatorypredatory]

I'm writing not because I feel the urge to, but because one of my internet stalkers is a whiny bitch.

I got all my shit together to get my taxes done, today. A bunch of my friends at school keep telling me that I am going to get a lot of money back this year, but I am trying to remain a skeptic. I didn't get a lot back last year, and I made even less money this one.



It's kind of depressing. I mean, I'd like to get a decent chunk of change for doing nothing. My lips get tired and chapped when I have to work, and I'd really like to think that I don't have to this summer. Alas, I fear I'll need to make use of my kneepads, again.

Hopefully I'll be able to find something in late July. D:

In other news, my 2 weeks of 'vacation' is drawing to a close. I'm desperately trying to fool myself into thinking that school is not just around the corner.. but the overwhelming anxiety of looming midterms won't let me enjoy that tiny bit of cognitive dissonance. As a result, I'm left gaping like a brain-fried retard at a stack of textbooks as I try to use caffeine to build up some motivation.

Instead, I'm left hyper, with an over-active, unsateable libido, and an overwhelming urge to surf 4chan.

....goddamnit.
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(no subject) [Jan. 19th, 2010|09:26 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |crappycrappy]

I'm really not one for mopey journal posts. I generally stay away from that bullshit with a ten foot pole. Suuuure, I read your guys' various woes. I even respond to them with witty attempts to make you feel better, or perhaps suggest advice, but when do I ever admit I'm particularly unhappy?

Never, really. Unless I have some boorish way to express it in raunchy or amusing ways.

But right now? I ain't feeling it. I haven't been for over a week. It's gotten to the point where even things that should make me feel particularly touched or happy have done little to phase me.



If I could put my finger on one particular thing, maybe I could get my shit together. But something tells me if it's one particular thing.. then that's a pretty fucking hefty problem. No.. what it's been, is a bad mood compounded by various lifey butthurts until I'm left feeling nothing but a knot in my stomach, and the moody unwillingness to do anything but sleep.

Not a good situation, I assure you.

God, I can't wait until I start to feel better. I'm not very productive like this, and my grades depend on it.
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Oh, hello there. [Jan. 1st, 2010|08:16 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

So it's the new year. 1-1-10. A fresh start, so they say. A time for people to make resolutions and promises to themselves and others that they will not keep. A day for people to be inspired for.. whatever it is they're inspired for, and to marvel in the wonder that they've managed to live this long.

I'd think, then, we're all obligated to make some attempt at deep-thoughted, cheery blog posts. Except, I'm not really going to do that.



I've spent nearly my entire Christmas Vacation doing absolutely fuck all. I could have gotten ahead on my reading for school. I could have cleaned my house. I could have finished that picture of a Socktopus for my friends' long overdue wedding present (though I honestly don't know if they'd even appreciate it..). I could have finished organizing my wine and labeling everything that isn't labeled. I could have started working out so that I'd be in the habit of it before school started anew..

But I didn't.

I sat on my fucking ass. Like a vegetable. Incapable of scarce a thought of anything but watching shitty daytime tv and masturbating. The funny thing about it all, is I don't regret a thing. I busted my ass off through the coarse of 2009, and goddamn if I wasn't gonna end the year off with a bang.

So what do I look forward to in 2010? Fuck if I know. I can't tell the future. I think I'll just enjoy it as it comes.. just like I do every year.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Sitting on my couch,
My ass expands rapidly,
No one believes me.

Link3 comments|Leave a comment

Writer's Block: Role model [Dec. 10th, 2009|01:48 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Tags|]
[Current Mood |coldcold]

Is there any character from a novel or film that serves as a role model to you? What kind of advice do you think she or he would give you regarding any major issues you're facing right now?




He'd probably tell me not to reply to his musings while I was sucking him off. <3
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Musings in the morning. [Dec. 8th, 2009|05:15 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
There comes a time when waking up at 4am just doesn't feel weird anymore. I've reached that point.

A friend of mine at school asked me the other day what the first big purchase I was going to make when this was all done, and I could have a job again. She actually was surprised and shocked when I told her I was gonna buy tits.

Yep, tits.

I don't know why people think it's weird that I would want such things. I mean.. boobs might be nice. I could rest my cereal bowl on them in the morning..

I've done my research. I know what it would cost, and what I'd be getting into, and hell, pretty much even what size (No, sorry, I'm not going for D's) which would look proportionate to the level of hip/waist ratio I have.

You'd think after living nearly 30 years of my life flat-chested would give me reason to want to be able to wear a bikini top, or be able to fit into a nice dress I find at the store without having to compensate or alter. Hell, 99% of the time, I can't even buy matching underwear because I can never find a bra small enough for me.

In other news, I am seriously sick of homework. This will pass, I hope.

Good night, Internet land. Here's your Haiku.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

R = Px,
C = F + Vx,
Not Multiple Choice.

Link16 comments|Leave a comment

So strange.. [Nov. 29th, 2009|05:30 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |enrageditchy]

I like to consider myself to be...confident. I have a high level of self esteem, and generally consider myself capable of anything I want, provided I can work up the urge to get my ass off of my couch and accomplish something. But bypassing my ego, and my narsicism, and beyond all the arrogance that I display to people around me, I'm realistic.

I know that there has to be limitations to my.. amazingness. I understand that despite what I might want, I'm merely human, and thusly a creature of flaws, despite the fact that I would hardly admit such to anyone's face.

I've begun to doubt myself. Not in a way that's an emo cry for help, or an internet scream for attention.. but in my memory. I've noticed that as I occupy my mind with lists of tasks I must complete, and the overwhelming inflow of knowledge that I am sucking from textbooks, my capability to remember things has gone by the wayside.

Now, that's not to suggest that I forget important things, like where I live, or how many hookers I have tied up in the basement, but more like things like: yesterday was my father's 60th birthday. Or that I should have made reservations for equipment for a presentation.

I find it interesting that things I would not normally 'misplace' on my priority list somehow seem to fall off while I'm not looking, simply because I have so much other crap to worry about.

Don't worry. After I woke up in a cold sweat, I called my Father and informed him that I am the worst daughter ever. <3
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(no subject) [Nov. 26th, 2009|05:58 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
Would anyone like a google wave invite?
Link13 comments|Leave a comment

John Waters fans? [Nov. 15th, 2009|11:39 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
So, he's doing a stand-up thing in Vancouver on December 5th. I've been given the go-ahead, for 65$, to have the chance to meet with this amazing and terrifying man.

But.. I don't want to go alone. Anyone interested in joining me?
LinkLeave a comment

Google wave [Nov. 14th, 2009|11:55 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |boredbored]

I have one free invite. Who wants it?!

Link7 comments|Leave a comment

Oh, shit. [Nov. 9th, 2009|08:42 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]

Taking a break. Not that I can really afford it, mind you. The endless number of supply curves and rising and falling marginal utility numbers begs for my attention span, which honestly is nil.


I've been far too worked up, lately.

I'm hooked on energy drinks, again. Tea just doesn't do it for me when I have no time, and way too much cramming to do. I have a feeling I'm going to want to crash on Wednesday, and I am not even allowing myself that minimal pleasure.

No time for my old antics. I can't even remember how to RP anymore, let alone sum up the brainpower to do it. I've resorted to trolling 4chan for hentai lately to help feed my thirst for fucked up plotlines. Thankfully, 4chan always delivers. God bless the internets.

But, I guess that's what hard work's all about. Speaking of which; break's over. Back into this shit.
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Just like that, weirdness happens.. [Nov. 2nd, 2009|05:10 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |confusedconfused]

The strangest thing happened to me, today. I was on the bus, minding my own business and gaping openly at this hot guy I seem to be running into quite often, these days. I felt something buzz on my lap, and thinking it was my cellphone telling me something, I reached into my pocket.

Nothing. No messages. No voicemails. No missed calls.

Back to gaping.

And then I feel something buzz, again. Intrigued, and realizing that this pleasing sensation was actually coming from my purse, I reach into the pocket that I sometimes stash my phone, only to find this weird alien cellphone sitting there.

Now, I drunkenly lost my phone at a friend's house over the weekend, so I think: no problem. I'll just call Alisha and see if anyone is missing their phone.

Turns out, Nope.

So.. now I'm really confused. Time goes by.. and I feel this alien phone buzzing again. Oh! A call! So I answer it.

An odd little conversation occurs, in which a man sounds rather confused as to why a woman is talking to him. I can only imagine this is because well.. this isn't my phone. After about five minutes of explaining, I finally let this man know that no, I am not 'Marty', and no.. I have no idea where this telephone has come from.

He kindly informs me that he'll let Marty know who has his phone. At this point, I play the waiting game, again.

And another call comes in. I answer, only to find that I am now speaking to the actual owner of this phone. This is a good sign. I politely ask him if he was at Alisha's party over the weekend. Nope.
"I live in Cloverdale..." he explains.

That's funny. I haven't been anywhere near that area in some time.

"Well, were you at the Celtic Times on Saturday?" I ask eagerly.

"No, I was at a football game..."

Huh. Now it is starting to get weird. How the fuck did I get this phone!?

The conversation goes on.. each of us absolutely bemused as to how I ended up with his phone in the first place. Finally, I agree to meet him at a gas station across the street from campus on my lunch break so that I can return his ill-begotten cellphone.

I bring a small army of friends with me. I'm not a dumb girl. I know that sometimes people do strange things in the hopes of luring pretty young women into their grasp, so I had backup. When the man rolls up in his truck, I'm hoping to recognize him. To get some sort of inkling as to -how- I ended up with his telephone in my purse.

I've never seen this person before in my -life-.

It was a rather anticlimactic exchange, to be honest. I handed him the phone, he asked me if I knew a man named 'Darrel', which I do, but it wasn't the Darrel he was asking about.. and then he drove off.

Didn't even say thank-you.

At the end of all of this.. I keep thinking to myself, that I am probably going to go to my grave..never knowing how the hell I got ahold of that damned phone.
Link16 comments|Leave a comment

Google Wave invites.. [Oct. 17th, 2009|03:10 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |boredbored]

Who's a bitch gotta blow to get one?
Link3 comments|Leave a comment

A case for Canada, [Oct. 17th, 2009|07:34 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |bitchybitchy]

So, I set about a far overdue chore, yesterday. I finally got all my paperwork together, crammed it in an envelope, and mailed it out to some strange town in Nova Scotia. It was my hope, in my overwhelming ignorance, that 2 months should be enough time for the government to process my request and send me that card that allows me to leave and enter the country, again.

You know. The one that expires at a maddening rate of 5 years.

I have plans for Christmas. The Heterosexual Life-Mate and I thought it might be keen to jump on a giant boat so we could wine, dine, and dance like we were more than upper-middle-class citizens.

Of course, I need to have my card before I can even -consider- leaving the country.. or I am gonna have a hell of a time getting back in. Those of you in MN should recall the annoyance I had this summer in having to cancel my trip because of this reason.

So after mailing out my papers, I check the website. You know. Just out of curiosity: 136 days.

To Process. My Fucking Application.

FOUR MONTHS?! Are you fucking kidding me!?

The rage I feel at this moment is near overwhelming. Now.. I sit here, worried that perhaps I may have trouble getting home over the -summer-. You know.. in case I had a hair out of place on the application (This is me recalling the trouble I had last time.. Grrrr..) and they send it back, causing the 4 months to have to start all over again.

I can't leave the country. I can't even go over the border in a car easily to buy groceries in Seattle. It wouldn't be so much a problem, save for the fact that this lack of freedom I have is really unsetling to me.

I'm actually considering applying to become a citizen as well.. just to see which is processed faster. At least if I am a citizen, all I have to worry about replacing every 5 years is my goddamned passport.

*snarl*

I've never felt such.. inconvenience simply because I chose to -live- somewhere.
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Let's see, here.. [Oct. 14th, 2009|06:48 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |cheerfulcheerful]

So my friend, Doctor Hottness, reminded me yesterday that while I give him shit for never blogging.. I actually hardly ever do it myself, anymore.

Out of fear of being a hypocrite, here I am.

So it's occurred to me that I worry too much. I've observed the massive workload that is being handed off to me, and then I make a list of what I need to have done over the weekend. It's a big list. Something huge and blood-pressure raising.

Every weekend, I sit on my ass eating cheetos, watching Season 5 episodes of House, and drinking obscene amounts of tea. Every hour or so, I do some homework, then go back to my usual tactic of fucking around and doing nothing. By the time the weekend closes, I've gotten about half my list of homework done, and I spend Monday morning chewing down my fingernails.

Then I look at my schedule. Is everything that needs to be turned in done? Yes. Do I have time over the week to finish other things? Yes. Is my head on fire, and am I going to die? No.

Then what the fuck am I so worried about?

I think I could use a chill pill.

Pipkin's Early Morning Haiku of the Day

The morning has come,
Walk in the rain to the bus,
Thinking of bad soup.

Link6 comments|Leave a comment

I feel it slipping.. I feel it slipping away.. [Oct. 4th, 2009|03:00 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |crazycrazy]

Accumulated Amortization upon my Sanity has been Debited to my Amortization of Sanity Expense account. D:
Link1 comment|Leave a comment

I think this needs to be shared. [Oct. 3rd, 2009|09:30 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |dorkylulz!]

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
LinkLeave a comment

Adventures in Pipkinland. [Sep. 26th, 2009|07:07 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

Good morning, my darlings.

After randomly deciding to fall asleep last night at 9am, I awake, bright and early, at 6am on a Saturday morning. I find this rather strange, but I consider the opportunity to get an early start on my day by.. fucking around on my journal, and then hopefully doing some homework.

This past month has been a strange one. I'm not entirely sure if it leaves me in a good mood or not, because to be honest, I've been too busy to get bored, or depressed, or happy, or have any other weird feelings like that. If anything, I've only gotten surprised by the sudden realization that on Saturday and Sunday, my time is completely my own and I have absolutely no obligations save for ones I give myself.

It's been a rather.. comforting feeling to say the least.

Knowing that while in school, and during mind-numbing hours of homeworking, I will not have the opportunity to spout profanities and act in a completely inhumane manner like I usually do, I've been filling up a lot of my 'free time' with things like livejournal and 4chan. Thankfully, this has given me a healthy balance in my life.. amusing the half of my brain which is normally fed by pictures of fat chicks getting entire watermelons jammed up their uncomfortable areas, or silly ones of cats with amusing slogans attached to them. Internet humor has come to sustain me when no other option is possible. So far, I'm happy.

A lot of my summer wines are coming to bare fruit (pun intended) now. Two of them have already been bottled, with another 3 batches due to be cleared off and finished over the weekend. (This includes my Bing Cherry port which.. unfortunately stopped fermenting a little too early. :( )

I'm going to have to find -room- for all of this stuff! Maybe some of you guys could come and take a couple of bottles off of my hands?

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Eye-stabbing day dreams,
My frustration rages deep,
Fucking Economics.

Link7 comments|Leave a comment

Dear Internets... [Sep. 16th, 2009|08:52 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |busybusy]

Hey. I miss you guys...
Link6 comments|Leave a comment

Goddamn, I love the internet. [Aug. 25th, 2009|10:31 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

I figured since I haven't posted in a while, that it might be that time again. Yaknow.. to post.

I was talking tonight, to this girl whom I haven't spoken to since she showed up on my doorstep at 14 years of age asking me for money to buy tampons. In my ignorance, I likely lent her drug money, but that just goes to show how very kind I can be to my friends.

Regardless, after she left me with a bad taste in my mouth, and a heaping chunk of self esteem ripped from my gut, I never really thought much of her until she found me on Facebook. Now, as we discuss where life has taken the both of us, I'm left with another strange taste in my mouth.

This flavor? Kind of like the taste you get when you look up to see God and realize that the universe is awesome, right after you're done wiping his jizz off of your lips.

I'll scoot on past the concept that it's completely cool to be able to find and talk to people I haven't in 10 years. We know how satisfying that can be. No, no folks.. I'm gonna sit right down and settle with the idea that it's goddamned cool to see where everyone I know from highschool has FAILED.

Yes. I am that petty.

There's the odd one or two who's just as spectacular as I remember them, of course. But I can't help but find some kind of sick satisfaction when I see the 'popular' girl in school has gained 100 lbs, and has an ugly boyfriend. Or that someone else I used to know and respect has the literary skills of a drunken chimpanzee.

And how many people do I know from highschool who've degraded into that creepy entity otherwise known as "Mommy" or "Daddy"?! You know, the weird obsessive parent that only posts about their children? It's downright disturbing when I see people that I used to bullshit in Art class with talking about how they're waiting to get their kids back from an estranged other-parent who has a restraining order out against them.

Fucked up shit.

I guess my point here, is that seeing how far my 'peers' have come.. only makes my minimal accomplishments all the more gratifying.

Yay! Go me!

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

A saddened Newfag,
Laptop without numberpad,
I cannot Triforce.

Link14 comments|Leave a comment

Woohoo!! [Jul. 7th, 2009|10:19 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]

HEY MINNESOTA!!!! I'M COMING HOME!!!!!



That's right! August 21st to September 3rd, I'll be in town. That means I want to hang out with people. Do you want to hang out with me? Please tell me you do!

Comment here if you wish to make plans with me, so I don't kill myself with bordom while I am there. Remember, I may not be in town again for 3 years or more... :o
Link17 comments|Leave a comment

Go, Pipkin! [Jun. 29th, 2009|07:39 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |blahblah]

It's that magical day. You know, the one that feels all 'personal' to someone, and they desperately hope it will be better than all of the others.

I find I've become jaded, over the years.

I was much more excited on Saturday. That.. was the big day of the Masquerade. I spent 50 dollars on my hair, and an hour and a half getting dressed.. but the results were always pleasing. I get such a thrill when I walk into a room, and people look at me and say "Wow". It's like I managed to bump my App rating a dot or two just because I put in a little extra effort.

I danced, a little. My Heterosexual Life-Mate danced much more than me (Fucking harlots). I mostly spent the night desperately trying to catch up with people I haven't seen for a year. It made me really sad to realize just how much I've lost touch with my social group because of my work schedule.

The mantra of the season seems to be: "Oh, well, I won't have that problem, come September."

Oddly enough? It's a really soothing thought.

Also, Happy Birthday, namelessfodder!!!
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A video entry. SFW. [Jun. 17th, 2009|01:29 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |calmcalm]

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Huh? [May. 30th, 2009|08:17 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |calmcalm]

I assure you all, I am not dead.

Men confuse the hell out of me. I've found over time, that even though I am not the most.. attractive person in the world (Okay, I'm pretty damn hot when I try..), I have various men infatuated with me without me doing much of anything to provoke them.

Since I've been working at a pub, it's gotten worse. There is a.. number of regular customers whom I've had my co-workers describe as 'in love' with me. Why? I haven't the faintest. I don't wear makeup half the time. I don't do my hair. Hell, I hardly even dress to please the eye.. yet somehow, because I can put back a pint or two in a sitting, and have a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush.. I have this small pack of grown men drooling at the sight of me.

Now, it's spread to co-workers. (Or at least.. 15 year old dishwashers. The thought makes me cringe and giggle at the same time)

It makes me wonder what I could do to people if I actually -wanted- that sort of attention.

In other news, I'll be 28 in a month. That fuckin' scares the hell out of me. I keep wondering how I got so old.. and then keep reminding myself that I'm not really old, yet. Then I keep wondering how long I'm gonna keep looking young.. and start counting down the days until my ass sags, my face wrinkles, and I gain 300 lbs. I've already started getting grey hair. D:

Regardless.. I'm celebrating this year by getting my nipples pierced. Yep. Both of them. It's gonna be grand.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Nazis on tv,
Talking about Jew Problems,
Saturday Morning.

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Me, and my split personalities. [Apr. 23rd, 2009|07:40 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |awakeawake]

I've stopped drinking coffee. I realized that the dependency I had on caffeine as a drug was a drag. Withdrawal kept me from waking up easily in the morning, and without it, I was an unruly, angry bitch. This is the most successful I've been at the attempt, than in the past. I find myself.. not really craving the tasty warm drink, but rather the warmness I get from it. I am cold and sad in my chair after waking up at 6am (naturally. O_O) and I don't want to make tea because I know I'll just be putting drugs in me.

Last night I went to an APICS meeting with my Heterosexual Life Mate. I was rightfully angry at the idea that his one evening home after not seeing him for so long was gobbled up by responsibilities beyond my hungering vagina, so I tagged along. Deciding to venture out into the business world displayed to me what I would be getting into come the future: Overwhelming boredom.

I suppose I'll be less bored once I understand half of what these Operations Management nerds are talking about, but regardless I came to a startling conclusion about my new chosen path in life:

I'm not appropriate. My active mental state is Not Safe For Work. The filters I must apply to my mind and mouth are astonishing to the point where I don't even really consider myself to be in the room half the time, but instead, locked up in a tiny part of my brain as I spew out words like some kind of politically correct robot.

I wonder if there will come a time where I filter myself so much that I lose touch with my sense of humor. I'm hoping not. But then again, the internet will always be my outlet, so long as I am cautious enough to know how to hide my fiery text.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

I tenderly touch,
What I can't rightly afford,
Strippers don't like that.

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(no subject) [Apr. 6th, 2009|07:57 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |bouncybouncy]

HAPPY APRIL 6TH DAY YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!! :D :D



To all of you who don't know what this is.. carry on.
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I spoke too soon... [Mar. 23rd, 2009|12:59 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |crappycrappy]

After almost two years of employment, I'm having my first sick day. This is downright strange.

Knives + Fevers = bad combination.
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Dude, what the hell?! (perhaps TMI. This is your only warning.) [Mar. 22nd, 2009|11:25 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |soresore]

I haven't really gotten.. sick, for some time. People I know run around with various viruses.. coughing, sneezing, puking, and doing all sorts of things which in turn gets everyone else around them sick, but thus far I've been.. immune. (Here's where I knock on wood)

Beginning to believe I am impervious to virii, I go about my day merrily as people sniffle and groan.. knowing that when I get a sore throat, chances are it'll be gone by the next day and I'll be drinking in celebration of my victory.

But then something like -this- happens. My body decides that it shall scoff in the face of -normal- diseases.. easily bypassing the common cold, flu, and other things floating in the air around me.. in favor of things far more.. vile.

Bacteria is the bane of my exsistence. When I get sick, I get SICK. I cough up things I'd rather not describe. Things itch that -shouldn't-, and my wallet suffers because I inevitably have to medicate because some things, I just can't handle on my own.

I'd never pissed blood before this, and I am willing to eagerly describe the situation as.. downright unpleasant.

My insides are swollen. It hurts to move. My back is sore. Foul smelling things are coming out of me.. and all these things, while utterly unpleasant (let alone uncomfortable) lead me to believe that my kidneys have decided to wage war upon my body. Which is something downright TERRIFYING.

Pain killers are my friends until tomorrow morning, at which time a nice little Japanese man will give me magic pills that I must choke down to wage biological warfare upon the organisms invading my system. Normally I do not look forward to the offer of antibiotics.. but in this case, I believe any sort of relief is welcome.

Even if I have to choke down yogurt for a month.

Surprisingly, I still haven't missed a day of work. Holy fuck am I a trooper.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

My thoughts are fleeting,
They return to old places,
That once brought comfort.

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Only in dreams. [Feb. 23rd, 2009|07:53 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |busybusy]

I had a dream last night that I wasn't accepted into BCIT. It didn't really bother me in the land of dreams, but when I woke up, I realized how crushing something like that would be to me.

I've put all my energy and motivation into preparing to go to college, that I haven't yet considered what I might do if I don't get in for the fall semester. I'm set on quitting my job in August. I've been working massive amounts of overtime just to fund my unemployment for 2 years starting in September. My mental health and happiness has begun to focus on the relief of actually having a 9-5, Mon-Fri schedule.

I'd be crushed if I don't get in. Absolutely.

I guess this means I should start preparing for the worst-case scenario.. you know, just in case. Until I get that letter of acceptance into hand, anyway. (Not that I'm honestly all that worried.. but it has been a little unsettling that I haven't gotten it, yet.)

In other news, it's been a month, at least, since I've shaved my arms. It's a strange sensation to have hair on a part of my body. I don't think I like it.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Time is running short,
I must make Haiku quickly,
My bus will not wait.

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Wine, wine, wine! [Feb. 18th, 2009|09:47 am]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |drunkdrunk]

You never really know how much you drink until you look back at all the damage it's done to your liquor reserves.

I sorted out my 'cellar', today. After having over 60 bottles of wine in my house (Vieux Chateau du Roi and Vidal Icewine) I managed, finally, to hide 10 bottles of each away to age safely. This left myself and my Heterosexual Life-Mate 3 bottles of each to consume. Careful calculation suggests that I have 13 bottles of each left.. from an original 30.

Where did they all go?!

Now, before I consider myself a raging alcoholic (Really, there's no room to be an alcoholic when I'm already a raging coke head) I do have to realize that I am incapable of being entirely selfish, and I HAVE given a lot of this shit away. (My friends, you are lucky people) But..I know for damn sure I didn't give away 17 bottles of each. My liver suggests I hardly gave away more than 10 of each kind.

So if we say I've consumed over 7 bottles of (My own, not counting other wines L has been pushing on me), that's still quite a bit of liquor consumed over the past month and a half. A bottle of wine can last me 2 to 3 days if I only stick to 2 glasses a day.


Me, a Lush.


Whoa.

Oh yeah.. did I mention I have 5 more kits (at 30 bottles each) on the go? My poor, poor liver..

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

Can't shake this feeling,
Skin is crawling at night time,
Scared of my shadow.

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Stolen from Marzi. [Feb. 12th, 2009|02:20 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |amusedamused]

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want -- good or bad -- BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.
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I won't bother asking anyone to do this as well. [Jan. 15th, 2009|01:28 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
Ask me a question about any or each of the following:

1. Friends
2. Sex
3. Music
4. Drugs
5. Love
6. LiveJournal
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Unrestful. [Jan. 9th, 2009|02:30 pm]
Renegade Necrophile Princess
[Current Mood |frustratedfrustrated]

So I bottled my wine, last night. -My- wine. Not something I was making for anyone but myself. It was nice. I made my own little labels and everything, which are sickeningly sentimental, but likely just funny to anyone who doesn't understand them.

I also got way too drunk.

My long awaited 3 day weekend is over, and I feel not a bit as rested as I should. Possibly because I didn't take any time to sit back and relax. Whoops. Oh well, back into the work week head-first, for me. Maybe I'll get lucky and catch the aids so I can finally have a day for myself. Of course, that would require more unprotected sex with hookers on my part. Oh darn.

I'm glad the holidays are over. I've been getting tired of everyone around me whining about how terrible everything is. For a season that's supposed to be filled with loving thy family/neighbor/brother/sister/friend, people sure do get bugs up their asses. It's like everyone is so resentful of all the things they feel like they're forced into doing, that they forget to be happy when they're actually -supposed- to be. We'll see what the new year brings. If it's anything like last, mine will be spectacular; save that everyone around me will be writhing in agony.

Maybe I should consider myself blessed.. but I just keep thinking about how I would trade my good luck in life to everyone around me just to see someone smile, again. It's depressing being the only person you know who's not depressed. Whoops. Oxymoron.

I've been looking for something to distract myself with, lately. Haven't really found anything. Watching Deadwood, again, as there's so much it appears that I missed. It's like reading a good book over again. Maybe I'll set aside some more time to get more involved with it, until I find a good video game to play. Mm. That would be nice.

Pipkin's Haiku of the Day:

An occupied mind,
Distracted so easily,
Doesn't feel as much.

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